It appears that over the space of the last few months I have lost 2 stone. I've been noticing my clothes where baggy recently but today I was running up the stairs, as you do, and my jeans fell down, tripped me up, I went head over heels and banged my arm on the banister leaving a lovely big bruise. So loosing weight is bad for your general health people! Don't do it! I now have a nice blue starry ribbon holding up my jeans, mainly cause I don't actually own a belt and also cause it's blue and has stars on it!

Me thinks I may have to be forcing my poor dear mother to buy me some new clothes. Should make her happy she's always going on about wanting to buy me a couple of new outfits. However if I end up looking like a middle aged woman I wont be too happy!

Damn what am I going to do clothes wise if I keep loosing weight? I can't afford new clothes every few months! looks like I'm going to have to start wearing sacks! Fun Fun Fun!

After the best part of a week of training I was sore but ready for the adventure ahead. I had spent a day deciding what weapon I should take along with me and had finaly chosen a large knife, well I say knife but it was actually 5 foot long and a foot and a half wide. Of course I was used to these kind of dimensions after so long using the Pixie Squashing stick. Through my life I had gained quite impressive upper body strength  and although this weapon was cumbersome and diffucult to carry around I was quite an impressive sight whilst using it.

I kissed Mark and Daisy goodbye and promised them I would return. I felt awful leaving them behind but I knew that it would be too dangerous for them, and I had already asked my family to keep an eye on them and make sure they need for nothing while I was away.

I had contacted my friend Nikki, a normal looking woman though she was, she had unmatched fighting skills and was more than willing to come along once I told her what I was up to. I told her to meet me and get prepared for our journey. She turned up 15 minutes later looking eager and carrying a large backpack with her. "right Nets, we ready to go?" She said cheerfully "yeah, I guess so. We'll take the Van, it's easier then waiting around for trains and watnot" I replied and we got in the van and set off to Captain Phils house.

As we pulled up outside a house that would have been more suited to an old fashioned coastal area I knew we where at the right place. I went to the door and gave a steady knock. I could hear voices from within and a shuffling of feet coming towards the door. A jolly looking lady with glasses opened the door and said "You must be Netty" "and you must be Mrs Captain?" I replied. She gave me a smile and welcomed us in.The house was warm and supprisingly cozy on the inside, completely different to the weather battered shingles on the outside. She pointed us through to the front room where at least 10 other people where sat conversing between each other. I recognised most of them from our last adventure, however there where a few new faces.

In the corner sat Pauline and Suki, quite a distance away from the rest. Suki had that look of a person who has just tasted something bitter as I walked in and took a seat near the window. Although we had worked together before we had never taken to each other, infact if truth be said we hated each other. Mrs Captain stepped into the room and said "Phil should be back any time now. He's been out all day talking to people round here to see if he can dig up any information." I think everyone in the room was quite suprised by this, Phil was known for Many things but research and planning where most certainly not two of them. She waddled back out of the room and conversations started up again within the room. I turned to Nikki and started chatting about nothing much in particular when a rather drunken looking man plopped himself down next to me and proceeded to poke me in the side. "What John?" I said loudly "Hiya Netty, I haven't seen you in years. Thought you'd given up the adventurous life and settled down?" he said as he swayed slightly. "So did I John. Hows the rest of the crew?" He gave a little hiccup and giggled to himself for a moment. "Well Eth married pigshit, well not really married, she didn't know if it where legal and stuff. But they had a bit of a doo and what I think they called a blessing." He pointed across the room at Eth who was hugging little pigshit and stroking his few hairs as he picked crumbs off her top and ate them. "Well she seems happy enough, How about the rest of them?" I asked. "Oh pretty much the same as last time lady."

As we continued our chat with difficulty as John got progressivly more drunk and difficult to understand, a loud bang came from the hall and in ran Captain Phil. He looked destrought and shaken. I got up to go to him and he stopped me and said "There's been another death, We have'ta go there right now!"

 

It began as a seemingly ordinary spring afternoon. The sun was out and I was enjoying a bit of gardening whilst Daisy played happily in the grass. All of a sudden a familiar figure leaned over the fence and gave a throaty cough. I looked up and who should be standing there but Captain Phil. He looked terrible, very pale and drawn. "How goes it Netty?" He asked after a while of uncomfortable shuffling. "What are you doing here? I havent seen you since.......well I havent seen you in a long time. You look TERRIBLE!" I replied.

He shuffled a bit more, and then finaly looked me dead in the eye and said "Yer know the P lady and Suki? Well Ive been to see them, thats probably why I look so bad. I have a favour to ask." I knew how Suki could completely destroy all that is good in a man and leave him a frail shell of his former self, so that explained the way he looked. I was curious though, what would he want from me after so long?

"What is it?" I asked while keeping an eye on Daisy and making sure she couldnt hear anything. "Well somethings come up. Thats kinda one of the reasons I went to see Pauline and Suki. Dont worry none though, it aint pixies, not been any o them around since..... Well.....anyway, theres some whispering around our parts about some creatures. No ones sure what exactly they are, but they seem to be causing a lot of trouble and at least 7 men have turned up dead. Only they aint just dead......They've.......erm.They've been turned inside out. "

"Crikey!" I said, and Phil looked slightly bemused at my shocked reply. Id forgotten that all these years living a Normal life had softened me a bit, so I then explained that to Phil. After about an hour of trying to explain to him and him not getting it, and me explaining again he finaly looked like he understood and said "Maybe you shouldnt get involved then, ya know if youve gone all soft and all."

 I looked him right in the eyes and replied "Count me in, I may have gone a bit soft but I am still bloody tough. I'll need to train up a bit and find a new weapon first though. When are we all meeting to discuss the plan of action?" Phil seemed to cheer up at that and gave me a weak smile and said in his cheeriest voice "Ill be getting the crew together some time over the next week, well be meeting at my place. Just come when your ready."

Ok here's a little thing for anyone who know's me or just come's across my little bit of MSN in search for fun. It's your chance to write me a letter based around these centences. Just copy and paste it into your comment and add what ever you like...

 

 

 The best reply I have had so far was from someone on myspace, here it is so see if you can come up with something better..

 

 

Have fun doing it, I know I'll have fun reading them

 

Nets

xxx

Ok so I've not written anything in the past few days. Mainly because I haven't been on the net much appart from yesterday, but I was busy making a space on myspace.com. It's looking pretty good at the mo, I have pictures of me up on there andsome small tidbits of information about myself so if you wanna go and take a peak then the URL is http://www.myspace.com/darkdamplair It's not brilliant and I'm not exactly popular on there but meh, I was talked into it by my friend Nikki.

 

Well the past week was eventfull. On Thursday me, Mark and Daisy went to Liverpool. We had a really great time suprisingly. We started off with a meal at San Sans which is a nice little chinese restaurant on Lime Street. They do a business mans lunch deal so for a 3 course meal it's only £5. Me and Mark ordered our meals and ordered chicken nuggats from the childrens menu. We where shocked when the food came and the chicken nuggets where hotter than the bowls of hell, so Daisy had to wait a bit for her food but I kept her happy with little bits of my meal. After that we went on to the museum. It was fantastic, and at the moment they have a colour and light exhibition which is mainly for little'uns so we let Daisy out of the pram and have a run about. She loved it and was into everything, so was Mark though so I guess he's just a big kid at heart.

 

On Friday we went out for another meal but with some my family this time. It was my Mum and Sister and her 2 youngest, we invited my dad as well but he was too ill to come in the end. Again we had a lovely meal and to top it off we all had Chocolate Fudge Icecream Sundae's mmmmmmmmm. We decided to get a taxi back and our driver was lovely, apparently he had a little one the same age as Daisy and we where chatting about how quick they grow up and how fast they learn, although his little boy isn't saying anything yet, unlike Daisy who wont shut up.

 

Saturday my friend Nikki came for a small visit. She is absolutaly in love with daisy and I said she could have her for a small price. She seemed up for it but in the end I changed my mind. It was during her visit that Nikki gave me the option of making my own space on myspace or having her make one for me. To be honest I don't trust her or what she'd write about me so I made my own.

 

I think thats about it other than a few small entertaining moments like when we where at my mums the other day. Daisy was saying "moo Cow" over and over again and we asked her where the moo cow was and she pointed directly at my mum with a cheeky smile and said "moo cow" That was very funny.

 

Anyway I think I've written enough for now, so I shall depart.

 

Princess

So I wake up and look out of the window and there's nothing but white. At first I think my eye's are going funny, but no it really is snow! We don't get snow very often and being a sheltered sea side place it never seems to stick, but it has. There's only a thin layer however and the sun is shining bright so it'll probably all be gone by lunchtime leaving nothing but wet.

 

Daisy slept a full night last night without waking up once, but not only that, she also slept in her room on her own. My god it was comfy sleeping in my bed last night. much much much comfier than the matress on daisy's floor. She'll probably be a get tonight but now I KNOW she can do it I wont be letting her get away with it.

 

Went shopping on Tuesday. Mark got his first pay packet so we thought we best spend spend spend while we can. Bought myself some clothes and other girlie stuff, nothing really of interest but certainly some bargains. Mark bought a DVD writer for the PC and a new DVD player cause the old one was just plain crap.

 

Anyway I'mm off to make breakfast for the baby monster.

 

Princess

Apparently the other day my dad was talking to my mum about his PC and mum asked him if it had another germ. For the first second after she said it he was confused but then he realised she meant a virus. When it comes to computers my mum is as looped as a dohnut, for example when we first got the internet we where talking about the site hot or not to her and having a giggle about it and then Mark said he was gonna put a picture of himself on it and she said...."aww no, you can't do that. You don't want to be going and putting pictures of yourself up on the teletext". Mad as a squirrel in a wig.

 

It's not confined to technology either, today we where talking about craft and stuff and she said "ooh yeah I got some stuff from studio cards, One of the things is a fairy day-com-part thingie" She meant decoupage but I wasn't holding it against her the first time, but after repeatedly having to correct her ALL DAY it got a bit tiring.

 

The best of all though was quite a few years ago when I was about 10 and me my sister and brother where watching TV and someone said something about being astute and alert, just at this moment my mum walked in and Kate said..."eh mum, your astute and alert aren't you?". Well mum turned a violent shade of red and then started screaming at the top of her voice... "How Dare you! I didn't raise my children to be so insolent and cheeky. Of all the things, How Dare you!". Confused, we asked her what the hell she was on about and her reply was this.. "How Dare you call your own mother a Stute and a Lert". Of course this sent us into hysterics which only made her angrier and she stormed out. It was only after a couple of hours and she had calmed down that she came back in and we explained what was so funny.

 

The saddest thing of all is that I'm probably going to end up exactly the same, I occassionally show signs of it now. Poor Daisy's gonna have to put up with a lot I guess.

 

Princess

Hello, well I've just been watching the IT crowd. I watched the one on channel 4 which was ace, and then I went and downloaded the next episode which was even better. I can't get over how unbelievably cute Richard Ayoade is as Moss, just want to cuddle him and keep him warm and well fed. I don't think it would be appropriate to kidnap him and keep him locked in the spare room though, I might even get arrested for it. Also Chris O'Dowd (roy) has the most beautiful mouth, bizzare thing to notice but hey I'm a girl and girls are weird and like weird stuff like that.

 

I'm in a bit of a weird mood at the moment, I'm feeling a bit hyper, mixed with an over all feeling of confusion. I think being sat in the house on my own with no one to vent my weird feeling to makes it that little bit worse. I could really do with having some girlie mates that I could invite round for a bottle of wine and a giggle about random things. It's just a shame that most of the girls I know are.....well.....not weird enough to be honest. I need people who can excuse my eccentricities rather than stare at me intensly when I say something odd as a nervous reaction. I mean that really doesn't help, it just makes the weirdness worse and brings out my stutter, stupid people, I'll teach them some day!

 

On a happier note I have some salt 'n pepper chicken wings and some chicken and char sue fried rice with my name on it. I think I shall be enjoying them in a bit with a nice cup of tea and for afters a perfectly hand rolled ciggarette made by yours truely. After that I may go to bed with a good book and curl up quietly and read till my eye's burn. Come to think of it why does that happen? Why does reading in bed make your eye's burn? It doesn't happen anywhere else even if your tired, only happens in bed.

 

I think thats enough for tonight anyway, I'll probably post again tomorrow if I'm feeling inspired.

 

Princess

Well I haven't really got anything to write today, but I thought I had best post something otherwise I'll fall into the routine of writing nothing at all in my blog.

 

Yesterday was a blah day, full of nothing much at all. So if I wrote about it I would just bore you to tears. Lets see what can I write about....

 

Ok I'll talk about giving birth to Daisy, that should be gorey enough to keep your interest for a bit.

 

My due date was in August and after a week had passed and nothing was happening I tried all the "methods" of inducing labour myself, including a brisk long walk which when your very big and wobbley with ababy belly is pretty difficult. Anyway I was amazed when the contractions started coming. They where a bit irregular but for an hour they had been every 5 minutes so we got my sister to give us a lift to the Hospital and they set up a bed for me. I was 3 cm dialated and they said the contractions should become more regular through the night. Only problem was....They didn't. They became more and more irregular and by about 10 am the next morning they sai I might as well go home for a couple of hours till they get back to 5 mins appart. So I get home, still having painful contractions randomly and I wait for them to even out....Nothing. So for a WEEK I was having contractions every hour/half hour, did I manage to rest or get any sleep? Did I buggery, you try sleeping when it feels like your spine is being pulled out your backside!

After my week of Pain I was due into the hospital for induction. I told them I had been having contractions for a week and yet they where still suprised when they examined me and I was 6cm dialated. You know I get the feeling they didn't believe me about the week of pain I had just gone through. They took me into the labour room and set up the drip for administering the induction fluids. Stupid Midwives didn't realise that the battery of the drip mahine was dead so for an hour I had them pulling the needle out, putting it back in, pulling the needle out, putting it back in. After blaming me forthe whole time they went and got a different machine and guess what...it worked straight away. Stupid old midwife who thinks she knows everything.

After a while my contractions became very strong and pretty regular, but it emerged that Daisy was in a stupid possition, she was the right way up but she was facing the wrong way, spine to spine in other words. Now because of that the contractions where hellish so I whimpered to Mark and his mum that I wanted drugs or I'd die, so in they came with a huge needle filled with liquid heaven, or diamorphine to be precise. It kicked in straight away and I just lay there for god knows how long it was snoring and occasionally being woken up to be told to do something like turn over or put my legs in the air.

 After a while the morphine high was over and I told them that I needed to push, They said I was 10cm dialated (fully dialated for those who haven't had kids) but that I wasn't allowed to push because they hadn't been able to hear the babies heart beat so well through my layers of fat so they stuck things up and got blood from Daisy which made things worse and her head was too swollen to push out. So off I went half out of it and desperatly trying not to push when the pushy contractions kicked in, to the opperating theatre.

The aneasthetist gave me an epidural but before it worked properly he managed to hit my spinal cord and make my leg fly up into the air which was worrying, nearly knocked the midwife in front of me out with that one, hee hee. So I lie down and they bring Mark in and start cutting me open, while this was happening one of the doctors who I can only describe as looking like a hells angel was softly stroking my hair and holding my hand and acting generally like a big girls blouse, oh how that ammused me. Mark was sat by my side and then he pulled this look of utter discust, I asked him why he was pulling that face and he looked me in the eye and said..."there's a huge bit of your stomach fat just landed on the floor by my foot". Anyway soon after we heard the cries of a tiny little monkey chimp and they came over and said it's a girl. They brought her over all covered in blood and wrapped up in a blanket and Mark hugged her like if he didn't the world would end. Then he buggered off with her to show his mum who hadn't been allowed in theatre. and I was left there on my own with this girly girly wuss bag biker dude while they stitched me up again.

 

There you go, the story of Daisy's birth. To be honest I can't remember most of it because of the Morphine, but what I do remember I've written. Well exceptfor all the smooshy lovey dover feelings after she was handed to us.

 

And remember.....kids just cause pain!

 

Princess

 

 

 

 

Ok so I've put this song up, simply because whilst replying to Cap'n Phil I remembered it and it amused me so I thought I'd share. I wrote this song about 4 or 5 years ago simply to win a bet. The bet was who could and would write a half decent song just about poo. I won cause no one else bothered. Anyway the version you can hear being played was played and sung by Mark. He's the musician of the house and at the time it was done I had a sore throat and couldn't sing. He also wrote the music, although I did help with the vocal arrangement. But as you may have noticed in his stupidity he messed up on some of the lyrics, so please excuse that.

Anyway I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a completely stupid song just about poo.

 

Princess

Well I have just made dinner for me and Daisy, lovely cheese omlette's with spring onion, and did Daisy enjoy it? Did she buggery. she squished the whole lot of it up into a mess and then flung it on the floor. I mean I am the first to say I'm a bad cook but my omlett's are actually quite nice, so I'm feeling a bit sad as Daisy will usually eat anything and everything put in front of her, INCLUDING LEMONS!

Ahh well she's gonna have to learn to like them cause they are one of the only foods I can cook from scratch and actually enjoy making. Well it's either that or the foul processed crap that she usually gets, like chicken nuggets and smiles, uuurrggghhhh.

I on the other hand really enjoyed my omlette. Although I'm feeling extremely full now.

 

On another note, Mark got promoted yesterday. It was a shock as he has only been working there for just over a month and he had no experience in care or support work before hand, infact he has never had a job of any sort before this one. He is now the Health and Safety officer, which means he'll be sent on numerous courses and with that on his CV he will be able to get a job anywhere. I'm very proud of him but I guess it helped that he is a complete suck up to the boss ;).

 

I've had a very boring day today and I'm starting to wish I'd gone out somewhere cause the weather was lovely today and a short walk would have been nice, I could have even taken daisy along the river near ours to feed the ducks. I think I'll do that on Thursday cause tomorrow Mark is taking Daisy to his mums for a visit and they'll be gone all day, which is god cause I get the house to myself so I can relax and do nothing but pamper myself all day.

 

Right I think I'll leave it there cause today I am extremely uninspired and I'm just going to end up rambling about the mundane things I do during the day, and no one wants to be hearing about that!

 

Princess

 

Oh justthought I'd add this....I've just entered the Killerpigs banner competition and here is my entry, let me know what you think of it...

 

 

OK, so I've been gone for a long long while, my excuse?.....in the past however long I have been suffering from every illness imaginable, from the simple cold to what seemed like mild food poisoning. Not quite sure how I got the food poisoning as I haven't eaten anything that no one else has and everyone else has been fine. And now as I started to feel a bit better, my menstrual cycle kicks in and says here have a week of none stop pain for a laugh. I wouldn't mind but I came on bloody early FFS.

I'm a bit upset actually, I thought I may have been pregnant after all the sickness and pain but it turns out it was all just down to having a rubbish immune system.That'll teach me for having my tonsils taken out. Oh and while I'm on the subject.... What the hell are adenoids and what do they do? Apparently I had mine removed the same time as my tonsils.

 

 

Damn I just read up on them and found this....

 

Well AOL have finaly switched on our broadband connection and I don't think I have been this happy in a long time. It's like welcoming home a long lost family member, all tears of joy and hugs. Yeah I know I'm sad but when you get used to something so fast and so wonderful, it's hard to do without it. If you could see my face you would truely know what happiness looked like.

 

I also managed to get the pics of Daisy I wanted to get

 

 

I got loads but these are just my 2 favourites. The second one looks like she is trying to eat the tulip but she was in actual fact blowing into the flower, she hasn't quite got the hang of smelling things by breathing in through her nose so she blows them instead.

 

I'm in a really good mood today, I think it helped that I actually had people on MSN to talk to. and today Mark took Daisy to his mums so I've had the whole day to relax on my own, which is like heaven. They should actually be getting back soon, so I'll get to give my baby girl somehugs and kisses before I get her ready for bed.

 

Princess

Well as you can tell by the title I'm getting a bit bored with photoshopping photo's. This is because I have recently been forced at knife edge to get rid of all the "red eye's" in everyones photo's from my sisters wedding. I thought it was enough to have been the bridesmaid and been made to wear a sleevless dress on the coldest day of the year without a coat, but apparently I was wrong.

Kate looked beautiful and so did Becca, however all the pictures of me look a bit...erm....odd. In every single picture I looked confused and quite frankly a bit mad! It's the same with all the video's, no matter where I am or what I'm doing I have a look of confused fear. Well either that or I look like a bad drag queen. I suppose it serves me right for thinking I looked like a princess in my beautiful dress. Vanity is one of the most annoying sins.

Anyway I best get it done 'cause everyone wants copies of the pics and I can't let them down now can I?

 

Right I'm ack off to work. I'll probably post again later.

 

Princess 

So... Since my post yesterday I can't seem to get the thought of giant killer bunnies out of my head, especially now that me and Phil (His Space) have come up with a plan to rid the brittish countryside of such animals. Of course it will involve a huge amount of investments to have the plan work fully, but Phil suggested contacting Sir Bob Geldof and asking him to help. I'm sure Sir Bob would be more than happy to help.

Anyway I'm actually far to lazy to explain the whole plan, but to put it into a brief summary we plan to breed a race of Great Dane dogs that have the courage of a thousand hero's (and eye's that shoot lazer beams and fire balls) to roam the countryside hunting down all giant man eating rabbits. Then the rabbits that are caught will be used to make pies to feed the homeless and the starving of 3rd world countries.

Good plan huh?

 

Right I'm off for now

 

Princess

I've just been watching 'The IT Crowd' and it was very funny, kinda makes me wish I was a geek, unfortunatly I'm far too lazy to actually learn anything other then the basics when it comes to computers. Now 'My Name Is Earl' is on but I've seen it before because we downloaded half of the series before we moved and lost our broadband connection, can't wait till we get it back cause Dial up is like riding a snail in the derby.

 

I have a terrible cough, and it's making me sound pretty damn husky, which in most cases would be a plus, but this time I just sound like a darts player. I haven't half cheered up since before though, must be because baby girl actually went to sleep nicely and without any hasle, must be a first.

 

OH MY GOSH! THAT CAN'T BE REAL! I've just seen this on AOL News....